For many women, being pregnant is a honeymoon. But for some of us, it sucks.
I’m now at the end of my 17th week and for the first time, I feel more like my usual indomitable self. But the last 4 months have been miserable. And it didn’t help to think that I was perhaps the only pregnant woman in this fecund city to feel this way. Today’s post is dedicated to all those women who, like me, hate being pregnant. You think you’re whiny? Wait till you hear what I’ve got to say!
Being pregnant makes me like/do weird things. So I started making a list. I’d love to hear your stories (or those you’ve witnessed with a partner, friend or relative). Pregnancy is funny, no?
You know you’re pregnant when…
… you have a semi-erotic dream about Daniel Craig where he’s topless and you’re having a beach picnic and you’re more interested in his lunch than his lunchbox.
… you’re allowed to eat extra and develop a gut and all of a sudden, you no longer like food.
… you have epic dreams where you set off on a quest to save the world and somehow they always lead you to a grocery store. (And then you wake up at 3 am and realize you’re starving).
What is impending motherhood supposed to feel like? For me, it’s an airport feeling…
It’s the same feeling I get when it’s 4 am and my alarm goes off because I have to go catch a flight to somewhere exciting. The world is still asleep, oblivious to my mounting excitement.
There’s a definite push-pull happening inside me: A part of me just wants to turn over and go back to sleep, back to the warm comfort of before. This part of my psyche gibbers about plane crashes and exotic bugs and things left undone. “Why risk it?” the voice wants to know. “Your life is so perfect the way it is.”
All right, the cat’s out of the bag: I’m pregnant. And despite what a whole industry’s worth of books would have you believe, it’s hard to know what to expect when you’re expecting!
Being pregnant is a study in mixed emotions. The shock when I first found out (I was convinced my period was late because I was training for the half marathon and I’d upped my running by a good 15k a week). There was the moment where I felt like a proper idiot when I botched the first pregnancy test I took (peed on the stick too long apparently; result: “Void”).
There was that amazing period of heightened intimacy with Pat when we realized that we were on the adventure of a lifetime and only the two of us were in on the secret. (I think the dog suspected something, but a few biscuits bought her silence.)
There was the forehead slapping when we realized I’d signed up (and paid a non-refundable $75) to enter the Oasis half marathon in September. Although I fully intended to keep running, it was unlikely that I would be able to double my long runs to meet the 21K requirement while carrying the sprog.
There was incredulity when, seemingly overnight, I went from being able to run 30K a week to barely being able to walk the dog 5 blocks before needing a nap. I was nauseous ALL the time. I think the only time I wasn’t nauseous was the first 15 minutes in the morning when I woke up. Exactly the opposite of what all my pregnancy books said would happen! Just goes to show: Everyone’s different.
And God must be a man!
Here are my arguments: (more…)
